Named After Black Horses
by TrueBlueSpark
Summary: Zim studies the strange human ritual known as sleep, with rather bizarre results. Alternate story title: Zimmy Nightmare Movies in FULL SOUND AND COLOR! [bask in my glorious COMPLETEness]
1. Introduction and Mark One: Giant robots ...

[_We open in Zim's inner sanctum, where he has somehow acquired a normal human bed. The bed rests unassumingly in the center of a large circle of metal. Zim and GIR stand nearby._]

**ZIM:** Computer, begin recording.  
**COMPUTER:** Recording now.

[_Zim paces back and forth across the metallic floor, dictating to the computer. GIR emulates him for a few seconds, then falls over and just wiggles his legs in the air._]

**ZIM:** I have heard stories recently about a strange ritual the humans perform every night. This... "sleep", as they call it, involves climbing into a piece of furniture called a "bed" and entering a state of helpless stasis for fully ONE THIRD of the human Earth day. I have decided to attempt to emulate this "sleep" in hopes that I may better understand what compels humans to fritter away their pitifully short lives on it.  
**GIR:** [_jumps on Zim's shoulder_] I'm gonna be a pillow!  
**ZIM:** You will NOT be a pillow, GIR. End recording.

[_Zim runs quickly over to the bed. He stares at it from several different angles, "hmm"ing and prodding it with one finger._]

**ZIM:** Hmm... GIR! Test the bed.

[_GIR walks over to the bed and immediately begins chewing on one leg. After a moment (Zim just stares at him) he turns around and salutes._]

**GIR:** The bed is sufficiently tasty, my master!  
**ZIM:** Ooo-kay. Excellent. Now! Begin sleep procedure!

[_Zim jumps on top of the bed, face down. GIR curls up under the bed. A long pause. Zim slowly sinks into the bed._]

**ZIM:** This might be more complex than I had guessed.  
**GIR:** Hoo hoo!

------------------

**Named After Black Horses  
An Invader ZIM Fanfic by Shay Caron  
Invader ZIM and all characters therein belong to Jhonen Vasquez (or should)**

------------------

[_Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. Dib appears to be missing, but the other students are all present._]

**ZIM:** Ahhhh, that "sleep" ritual has left me feeling strangely refreshed and energetic. Perhaps I should recommend it to the Tallest.  
**MS. BITTERS:** Has anyone seen Dib?  
**ZIM:** Perhaps he is engaging in our normal human sleep. It is so delicious!  
**MS. BITTERS:** Yes, and it hastens our lives by hours each night, helping us approach our inevitable demise so much faster.  
**ZIM:** [_as Ms. Bitters rambles on in the background_] She could find a path to doom from any topic. I admire that woman.  
**MS. BITTERS:** Doomed, doomed, doomed. Your assignment today is on linguistics. You are to write a report on the origins of the English word I assign to you. Torque, your word is "doom".  
**TORQUE:** Yes!  
**MS. BITTERS:** Gretchen, your word is "suffer". Zim, your word is --

[_A massive tremor shakes the entire skool. Kids fall out of their desks and papers scatter about the room. Zim looks confused but unharmed._]

**MS. BITTERS:** Earthquake!  
**ZIM:** Eh? My word is "earthquake"?  
**MS. BITTERS:** Shut up and run for the earthquake shelter. Down the hall.

[_The students all run in a panic from the classroom and down the hall, as further tremors rattle the skool, until they come across a cardboard box labeled "earthquaek Shelter"._]

**ZIM:** Hmmm, no doubt this small brown box contains a teleporter that will send us all to a perfectly safe orbiting space station!  
**RANDOM TEACHER:** Nah, had to scrap the space station plan 'cause of tax cuts.  
**ZIM:** Curse you, tax cuts, wherever you are!!

[_Suddenly a massive iron hand plunges through the ceiling of the skool, grabbing for Zim and missing. Zim screams and runs for cover as the ceiling is yanked backward, revealing an enormous robot towering over the skool. A staticy voice is broadcast from speakers built into the robot._]

**DIB:** [_crackle_] There you are, Zim. How do you like my new toy?  
**ZIM:** Dib-thing! Where did you acquire that robot?! Tell meeee.  
**DIB:** I saved a hundred thousand cereal box tops. [_bzzt_] This robot suit has got everything I need to capture you! It's got lasers, nets, ropes, more lasers, missiles, a smoke machine for some reason... Best of all -- it's monkey-powered!

[_Focus on the torso of the robot suit; an X-ray view shows several monkeys, chained and forced to run on treadmills._]

**GIR:** No, not the monkeys! Those poor little monkeeeeys! [_cries_]  
**ZIM:** [_jumps and looks at GIR, who is not disguised_] When did you get here?  
**GIR:** [_cheerful again_] I hitched a ride on a jellybean!  
**ZIM:** Never mind. Save your master!!

[_GIR salutes, throws Zim over his shoulder, and runs down the hallway and out of the skool, Dib's robot following close behind._]

**DIB:** You can't run from me this time!  
**ZIM:** Insolent foolish slimy filth-eating worm pig dog cheese worm! Zim shall never lose to the likes of you! Computer! Call in the Voot Cruiser!

[_The Voot Cruiser flies through the atmosphere with a really cool "zoom" sound. As it passes Dib's robot's head, the robot absent-mindedly reaches up and crushes it._]

**ZIM:** A-heh-heh-heh. GIR! Increase running speed!  
**GIR:** Okey-dokey!

[_GIR tears down the street swiftly, Zim dangling from his arms. Dib's robot seems unable to keep up with Zim's hyperactive servant, and the laser blasts it fires all miss their target._]

**DIB:** Slow down! Geez! [_bzzt_] Hmm... Hey, GIR! I've got some tacos here, if you want some!  
**GIR:** [_freezes_]  
**ZIM:** GIR, don't do it!  
**DIB:** They're warm and tacoey!  
**GIR:** ...TACOOOOOOS!!  
**ZIM:** GIR, no!

[_Zim leaps away from GIR, who rockets back to stand next to the robot's foot._]

**GIR:** Where's the tacos?

[_The robot lifts up its foot, brings it down directly on GIR, then kicks the smashed pile of metal toward where Zim stands._]

**ZIM:** GIR!! [_runs over and picks up GIR's head_]  
**GIR:** [_eyes turn red and sad_] Master... I have failed you... Forgive me... [_eyes turn blue_] I'm gonna sing about daisies now! Daisy daisy daisy! [_eyes shut off_]  
**ZIM:** NOOOOOOOOO!!  
**DIB:** Give it up, Zim! You're mine!  
**ZIM:** I'll never surrender!  
**DIB:** Fine! [_crackle_] I was hoping I'd have to take you by force anyway!

[_Dib's robot stomps after Zim as he tries to run for cover. Soon it fires a net that yanks Zim off the ground. He lands neatly in the robot's outstretched hand._]

**DIB:** Have you any last words?  
**ZIM:** Yes. I don't want to go.  
**DIB:** Well. Succinct, anyway. Your reign of terror ends now!

[_The robot hand begins to tighten, compressing Zim's alien organs as he screams. The hand squeezes. squashes, tightens, until--_]

------

[_Scene: Zim's home base._]

**ZIM:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] Computer! Computer, what WAS that?! What is happening?!  
**COMPUTER:** You have experienced what is known as a "nightmare". Named after... uh... Named after... black horses... a nightmare is a weird thingy made up by your brain that scares you and makes you wake up screaming but didn't really happen.  
**ZIM:** [_sighs in relief_] Ahhhh. Nothing to worry about. Dib doesn't really have a monkey-powered robot suit.  
**GIR:** Can I have a monkey-powered robot suit?  
**ZIM:** If you save up your allowance and buy it yourself.  
**GIR:** Yaaaaay!

------------------

**Author's Note**

Catch the reference to HAL? Of course you did. ^_^ How about the Discworld quote? Hee hee.

OK, this's my first actual fanfic of any sort -- and I'm thankful for that. My writing skills years ago were "kind of... not good". I think this story was inspired by an episode of the "Beetlejuice" cartoon I saw years ago. This is chapter 1 of 7 -- I've got the whole plot sketched and I just need to flesh out the summary. No hints!

I finally figured out how to make FanFiction.Net recognize HTML! It was a simple, kinda stupid thing. You other authors probably knew it from the beginning. Feh.

Anyway. Go to my web site! I draw stuff! ... Sorry. 


	2. Mark Two: Betrayal from the top!

[_Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. All students appear to be present, except that the desk behind Dib is empty. Dib is glaring at Zim, as usual._]

**ZIM:** Phew, what a horrible dream THAT was. I could practically feel my squeedily spooch being compressed by that giant robot thingy. Thank goodness things are back to normal.  
**MS. BITTERS:** YOU! You're late.  
**FEMALE VOICE:** Sorry, Ms. Bitters.

[_Zim's head whips up in shock as the camera spins to show Tak (!) standing next to Ms. Bitters' desk._]

**TAK:** My father needed me to help him set up the stand again.  
**MS. BITTERS:** Very well. Now SIT DOWN!  
**ZIM:** [_leaps from his seat to land standing on his desk; points at Tak with a whip-crack sound effect_] YOU! How dare you return?! What is the meaning of this intrusion into my territory?!  
**TAK:** Geez, Zim, what's your problem? Father and I just got back from our vacation in the Alps, so I'm coming to class again.

[_Tak innocently zips over to the desk behind Dib. The two of them look over at Zim for a few seconds, then start whispering to each other and laughing. Zim watches this and growls, his fists tightening._]

**MS. BITTERS:** Our lesson today will be about overcrowding, and how soon there will be so many people on the Earth that half of us will be doomed to fall off the other side!  
**DIB:** [_raises his hand_] Ms. Bitters, is it really possible to fall off the Earth?  
**MS. BITTERS:** Something like that. Now, open your textbooks to --

[_The telephone pops out of Ms. Bitters' desk and starts ringing frantically. She snatches the receiver and listens for a moment, then slams it down again, shattering the phone and releasing several tortured souls._]

**MS. BITTERS:** [_points dramatically_] ZIM!  
**ZIM:** [_straightens and salutes_] Yes, Mistress Bitters!  
**MS. BITTERS:** You have a phone call in the office. Take the hall pass and go. Now.  
**ZIM:** Phone... call? Very well. I shall take this... "phone call"... with pride.

[_Zim marches to the door -- and is knocked over by the hall pass, thrown at his head with excessive power._]

------

[_Zim walks down the hallway, muttering to himself, hall pass tight around his neck. Of course he is not so ignorant that he does not know what a telephone is; nevertheless, he is confused._]

**ZIM:** Who would be using the phone to contact me? GIR had better not be fooling around at home. I have got to start disciplining him properly.

[_Zim comes to the end of the hall, where he is surrounded by nine departmental doors. After waffling for a bit (_**GIR:** I like waffles!_), he walks toward the door marked "Reception"._]

**ZIM:** [_bursts through the door dramatically_] I am ZIM!! I have come to claim my phone call. You will not resist!  
**RECEPTIONIST:** [_bored_] Oh yeah. Here. [_holds a phone receiver out to Zim_]  
**ZIM:** Thank you. [_snatches the receiver; pokes it; shakes it up and down; finally gets it right_] Who wishes to bask in the glory of my voice?  
**HIGH MALE VOICE:** Zim? That you?  
**LOW MALE VOICE:** Of course it's him. Who else would answer the phone like that?  
**ZIM:** [_straightens up to his best military pose with a panicked look on his face_] Ghhh! My, my Tallest! I didn't expect that --  
**RED:** Yeah, yeah, of course you didn't. That's what we need to discuss.  
**ZIM:** Eh?  
**PURPLE:** We've been looking over your recent progress reports, and we've decided that they are... well... not good.  
**ZIM:** Ehhh?!  
**RED:** Right. We need that planet, and you're just not cutting it.  
**PURPLE:** [_cheerily_] So we've replaced you!  
**ZIM:** WHAT?!  
**RED:** Oh, for the love of Miyuki! I was getting to that.  
**PURPLE:** Sorry. I got caught up in the moment.  
**RED:** Shut up for a second and let me finish.  
**ZIM:** [_clutches the phone receiver, eyes wide as dinner plates_] But, but, but why?! Just a few more weeks and I --  
**RED:** -- will be exactly where you started from, and we're sick of it! This "pointy-haired beast" you keep mentioning, for instance. He's still alive? You can't manage to deal with a single "human"?  
**ZIM:** But he's the cleverest of all the humans! Once I finally dispose of him, the rest of --  
**PURPLE:** SILENCE!  
**RED:** Hey. Were you even listening to me?  
**PURPLE:** Sorry again. It just... seemed like the right thing to say.  
**ZIM:** And... who have you replaced me with?!  
**RED:** Oh, you'll like this. You remember Tak, don't you?

[_A pause. The phone receiver drops from Zim's limp hand to hang from its cord as he runs from the office._]

**RED:** Zim? Zim?

------

[_Scene: the Massive, with dozens of little Voots circling it. Cut to the Tallest's room._]

**PURPLE:** [_stares at a little speaker device_] I think he's gone.  
**RED:** Huh. He took it better than I predicted.  
**PURPLE:** Man, we should have waited until he got back to his base.  
**RED:** What? You were the one who couldn't wait to break his heart as soon as we made the decision.  
**PURPLE:** Yeah, but I just realized that if we'd waited, we could've seen the look on his face when we told him.  
**RED:** ...You're right. Drat. Ah, well. Wanna go visit Planet Curlyfrya again?  
**PURPLE:** Do I?!

------

[_Scene: outside SKOOL. Zim runs out the door and takes a random turn into an alley._]

**ZIM:** [_panting and almost sobbing_] I... I don't understand it! How?! How could my Tallest do this to me?!  
**TAK:** Hey, Zim! Guess you've heard the news.

[_Zim looks up to see Tak and Dib at the end of the alley, grinning devilishly._]

**DIB:** Too bad about the reassignment. Did your precious Tallest tell you what your new job's going to be?  
**ZIM:** No, they didn't, Dib-thing.  
**TAK:** Oh, good! I was so hoping I could say it myself. You, my dear Zim, are going to be the newest janitor on Planet Dirt! [_Zim gasps_] I hope you like filth.

[_Zim's mouth opens and closes, but he can't speak. He backs away from Dib and Tak, his face locked in an expression of pure horror. Finally, he opens his mouth to scream..._]

------

[_Scene: Zim's home base._]

**ZIM:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] Another one?! What does it mean?! Computer, contact my Tallest immediately! [_a screen immediately comes down with the Tallest displayed on it; they are apparently having a limbo contest_]  
**RED:** Ack! [_falls to the ground_] Zim? [_climbs up in front of the screen_] What the heck do you want?  
**ZIM:** My Tallest! You aren't planning to fire me and make Tak the Invader in charge of Earth, are you?  
**PURPLE:** Tak? You mean the janitor?  
**RED:** [_groans_] No, Zim, we have no plans to do anything remotely resembling that. Now go away.  
**ZIM:** Thank you, my Tallest. I knew I could trust you. Invader Zim signing out! [_the screen goes black_] Wheeeew! That's a relief.

------

[_Scene: the Massive, with dozens of little Voots circling it. Cut to the Tallest's room._]

**PURPLE:** [_stares at the darkened screen_] What was that?  
**RED:** Just Zim on another one of his paranoid rants.  
**PURPLE:** Hmm... Replace him with Tak...  
**RED:** That's a stupid idea. What would we do with Zim? Make him a janitor?

[_A long pause._]

**BOTH:** Hmmmmm...

------------------

**Author's Note**

Heh, you can probably already see how this story's going to go. I'll try to throw a few twists at you, though, never fear. Those of you who are big fans of Zim might be angry at me for putting him through this emotional torture. My defense is... er... actually I don't have a defense. Look, a huge distracting thing! (runs) 


	3. Mark Three: What does ZAGR mean?

[_Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. All students appear to be present._]

**ZIM:** Stupid, stupid dream. I should have known the Tallest would never betray me like that. These nightmares appear to feed on my deepest fears. Fortunately ZIM FEARS NOTHING!! NOTHING!!

[_The lunch bell rings._]

**ZIM:** AAAAAAGH! [_hides under the desk_]

------

[_Everyone piles into the lunchroom. At some tables, several students are stacked on top of each other. Zim goes to the front of the line and receives a bowl of... some sort of purplish liquid, very thick. The spoon bounces off of it twice before sinking in._]

**ZIM:** The humans must be amazingly hardy if they can survive on a diet of... this.

[_The liquid extends a pseudopod and attempts to climb the spoon. Zim's eyes bulge and he spins around hurriedly to find a seat. On his way to a table, though, he collides with someone, sending trays flying._]

**ZIM:** Hey! How dare you impede the progress of Zim?!  
**GAZ:** [_gets up from the floor_] Why don't you watch where you're going, you big -- uh --

[_Zim spins around to attack, but when he looks at Gaz, he freezes where he stands. The two of them stand stock still, staring at each other's eyes._]

**ZIM:** ...Something is... different about you, human...  
**GAZ:** Really?  
**ZIM:** Somehow... suddenly, you seem so... much... less hideous...  
**GAZ:** ...That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me...

[_Slowly Zim and Gaz, still gazing (that's the only thing I can really call it) into each other's eyes, move closer to each other... closer... closer... until their lips meet in a soft kiss..._]

------

[_We are treated to a sickening montage of sappy "date" scenes between Zim and Gaz. They frolic in the park (until Zim falls in the pond and starts screaming), ride on a ferris wheel, fly around in the Voot Cruiser and shoot random people, and eat from the same plate of spaghetti. Finally the two stand outside Gaz's house, and Zim leans in for another kiss..._]

------

[_Scene: Zim's home base._]

**ZIM:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] Ick! Ewwww, human cooties! Yuck! [_spits several times_] GIR! Fetch the disinfectant soap! AND NO BACON!!

------------------

**Author's Note**

Hey, cut me some slack. This is the closest I've ever come to writing a romantic scene.

I'd like to thank the five people who've reviewed this fic so far. Those five people are Penguin-Major Nora, PallaPalla (I'm flattered that you both think this story feels like a real episode), Invader Iggle (yes, completely tacos), SHiMMy123 (hee hee, torture is funny), and Heh Choke On This Puppy (who is in the running for the "Weirdest FF.net User Name" award). Thank you all! ^_^ 


	4. Mark Four: Short but immensely painful

[_Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. All students appear to be present._]

**ZIM:** Stupid, stupid dream. Getting involved with a human slime thing like that... These nightmares appear to feed on my deepest fears. Fortunately ZIM FEARS NOTHING!! NOTHING!!

[_The lunch bell rings._]

**ZIM:** AAAAAAGH! [_hides under the desk_]

------

[_Everyone piles into the lunchroom. At some tables, several students are stacked on top of each other. Zim goes to the front of the line and receives a bowl of... some sort of purplish liquid, very thick. The spoon bounces off of it twice before sinking in._]

**ZIM:** The humans must be amazingly hardy if they can survive on a diet of... this.

[_The liquid extends a pseudopod and attempts to climb the spoon. Zim's eyes bulge and he spins around hurriedly to find a seat. On his way to a table, though, he collides with someone, sending trays flying._]

**ZIM:** Hey! How dare you impede the progress of Zim?!  
**DIB:** [_gets up from the floor_] One of these days, Zim, you'll slip up and I -- ah --

[_Zim spins around to attack, but when he looks at Dib, he freezes where he stands. The two of them stand stock still, staring at each other's eyes._]

**ZIM:** ...Something is... different about you, human...  
**DIB:** Really?  
**ZIM:** Somehow... suddenly, you seem so... much... less hideous...  
**DIB:** ...That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me...

[_Slowly Zim and Dib, still gazing (that's the only thing I can really call it) into each other's eyes, move closer to each other... closer... closer... until --_]

------

[_Scene: Zim's home base._]

**ZIM:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] GIR! THE DISINFECTANT SOAP!!

[_GIR runs up with a bar of disinfectant soap. Zim snatches it from his hands and immediately swallows it whole._]

**ZIM:** I am NEVER, EVER, EVER SLEEPING AGAIN!!

------------------

**Author's Note**

Why, yes. Yes, I am evil. Thank you for asking.

Incidentally, I hope I don't offend any ZADR fans with this chapter. Personally, I just don't get it. I also don't get the whole "yaoi" thing, but that's just me.

Wow, I got ten reviews on chapter 3! Comparing that to the five I got for the first two, I can only assume that you readers have come to your senses. ^_^ Since this chapter was kinda short, I will close by replying to all ten reviews.

_Paradoxal Reality_: [_biiiiig grin_] Y'know, when someone who's written three really great IZ fanfics gives you a good review, you kinda get a warm feeling inside. And she's an awesome artist too. In case you didn't guess, I'm happy. ^_____^ (subliminalmessagewritemoreweapon)  
_Peplos Kore_: Well, what can I say but: "That... is a secret."  
_Invader Val_: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........... Okay.  
_NeverAgainTruth_: thanks  
_nny777slavelabor_: Hey! I like my face. And I don't think it would taste good melted. But I'm glad you liked the story.  
_Nikkicub_: "Zimmy Nightmare Movies in FULL SOUND AND COLOR!!!" That's what I should have called this story. ^_^  
_CherryCoke_: Man, you flatter me! (If I wanted to die, I'd make some sort of pun about being "flatter". But I won't.) Thanks for the voluminous compliments!  
_Heh Choke On This Puppy_: Hi! Nice to see ya again! And it's good to see that you got your head back.  
_Lyrique_: I'm going to write more... RIGHTNOW! "Now?" No, you missed it.  
_Invader Sam_: I'm glad that I could brighten your day. ^_^ I hope you'll stick around for the rest of the story.

And I'm spent. New chapter in a week or so, if Zim and Dib don't kill me for writing this one. 


	5. Mark Five: Hey, chores can be scary too

[_Zim is putting his human disguise on, getting ready for skool. GIR is doing backflips for some reason._]

**ZIM:** Stupid, stupid, stupid nightmares. I HATE them! I go to skool, something weird happens, I get freaked out, and it starts over again!  
**GIR:** Awww, don't be sad, master. I don't think this is a dream.  
**ZIM:** Do you even know what a dream IS?  
**GIR:** Ummm... Issa kind of fish, right?  
**ZIM:** Stop talking, GIR.

[_A long pause. Zim hiccups. Soap bubbles float out of his mouth._]

**ZIM:** Hmm... What if I just didn't GO to skool? If this IS a dream, then no one will care. If it isn't, well, they can survive without me for a single day. And there are some chores I've been meaning to do...

------

[_Close-up shot of a piece of paper that has on it what can only be a to-do list. Focus on one line, which is just a bunch of Irken gibberish. Subtitle: "POLISH SATELLITE RECEIVER"_]

[_Scene: the roof of Zim's house. A bungee cord stretching from the satellite dish to his neck, Zim stands on the roof and washes the dish with a bucket and brush. Time passes. Zim slips and falls to his death. NO! Not true! He slips and falls, bounces, then lands in the dish, coughing and hacking._]

------

[_Close-up on the to-do list. "POLISH SATELLITE RECEIVER" has been checked off. Next entry: "RECALIBRATE THE MAIN POWER GENERATOR"_]

[_Scene: the center of Zim's fortress. Zim is standing in front of a computer screen; said screen is embedded in the wall, next to a huge Tesla-coil-looking thing._]

**ZIM:** GIR! On! [_a quiet whirring noise; Zim examines the screen_] Hmm. Off! [_the whirring stops_] Interesting. On! [_whir_] Off! [_no whir_] I see. [_Zim taps the screen several times._] Once more, then.

[_Scene: the kitchen. GIR is standing next to the blender._]

**ZIM:** [_off-screen_] On! [_GIR turns the blender on_]

------

[_The to-do list. Next: "DEFEAT THE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IN A BATTLE OF WITS"_]

[_Scene: Zim stands in the middle of the living room._]

**ZIM:** Chicken!  
**COMPUTER:** Egg.  
**ZIM:** Chicken!  
**COMPUTER:** Egg.  
**ZIM:** Chicken!  
**COMPUTER:** Egg.  
**ZIM:** Apples!  
**COMPUTER:** Oranges.  
**ZIM:** Apples!  
**COMPUTER:** Oranges.  
**ZIM:** Apples!  
**COMPUTER:** Oranges.  
**ZIM:** Irresistable force!  
**COMPUTER:** Immovable object.  
**ZIM:** Irresistable force!  
**COMPUTER:** Immovable object.  
**ZIM:** Irresistable force!  
**COMPUTER:** Immovable object.  
**ZIM:** Buy!  
**COMPUTER:** Sell.  
**ZIM:** Buy!  
**COMPUTER:** Sell.  
**ZIM:** Buy!  
**COMPUTER:** Sell.  
**ZIM:** Zero!  
**COMPUTER:** One.  
**ZIM:** Zero!  
**COMPUTER:** One.  
**ZIM:** Zero!  
**COMPUTER:** One.  
**ZIM:** Drrrrrr...

------

[_The to-do list. The previous entry has been scratched off the list. Next: "PLAY WITH GIR"_]

[_Scene: the public park. Zim and GIR (both disguised) are running along the dirt path. Every few seconds Zim will pull a taco out of the bag he's holding and toss it to GIR, who leaps up into the air to catch and eat them._]

------

[_The to-do list. Next: "CHECK UP ON THE FRAMMISTAT PARTICLE GENERATOR"_]

[_Scene: Zim looks around one of the many underground rooms in his fortress with a confused look on his face. Time passes._]

**ZIM:** What the heck is a "Frammistat Particle Generator" anyway?

------

[_The to-do list. Next: "UPGRADE THE PAK"_]

[_Scene: Zim is making some modifications to his pak. A few seconds pass._]

**ZIM:** GIR, get me a wrench, would you?  
**GIR:** Okay! [_runs off_]

------

[_Scene: Zim's home base._]

**ZIM:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] Oh, come on! I wasn't even scared!

------------------

**Author's Note**

Yeah, Zim and Dib teamed up and killed me in retaliation for chapter four. I finally got better, though. ^_^() Keep reading for the final two chapters of this long-overdue-to-be-completed story! (Ten thousand bonus points to anyone who can identify the song I pulled Zim's argument with the computer from. I'll even give you the title as a hint: "a vs b".) 


	6. Mark Six: Desperation's Peak! No, not a ...

[_Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. All students appear to be present. Zim's eyes dart around the room. He twitches repeatedly._]

**ZIM:** [_to himself, spastically_] The dreams. The dreams keep coming. Nightmares! The screaming. I can still hear the screaming. NO! These dreams won't beat me. If they won't stop coming, I'll play their game. I'll beat them! I'll show you!  
**MS. BITTERS:** Doomed, doomed, doomed. Your assignment today is on --  
**ZIM:** I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!

[_Zim leaps from his seat to stand atop his desk. He tears off his wig and his contacts, tossing them to the floor. A collective gasp._]

**ZIM:** You see?! I am an alien! An invader!! I will RULE your filthy planet!! How do you like THAT?!

[_A long pause._]

**ZIM:** No, seriously.

[_Everyone freaks out. Screaming, running in circles, thrown desks, the works. Zim stands outside the chaos, laughing maniacally as only Zim can._]

**CHUNK:** Oh my god!  
**ZIM:** You are intimidated by my spectacular true form, are you not?!  
**CHUNK:** Oh my god! Dib was actually right!!  
**DIB:** Hey!

[_Ms. Bitters reaches underneath her desk. Her hand hovers over buttons marked "Insane Student", "Lice", "Death", "Blue Alien Invader", and "Red Alien Invader" before finally pressing a button marked "Green Alien Invader". Immediately a squad of trained alien-tracking ninja crash through the windows. One of them lands on Spoo's head._]

**ZIM:** Bwahahahahaha!! I fear no ninjas! Bring yourselves to my presence! You shall be annihilated in a very squishy fashion!

[_Cue the flashy action sequence! Zim's spider legs extend from his pak, and he leaps from his desk, smacking two of the ninja together with his forelegs. A ninja slashes one of his legs off at the first joint; he retaliates with a laser blast. Three ninja leap at Zim, who picks up Dib and knocks the ninja away with him as if he were a baseball bat. Finally the ninja work together, slashing Zim's legs to pieces and grabbing him by his arms and legs._]

**ZIM:** Hah! Do you believe that I am fooled? This is another nightmare, nothing more! I will wake up safe in my pathetic little Earth bed! Nothing you can do to me will --

[_A ninja smacks Zim upside the head. He immediately loses consciousness._]

**NINJA:** Shaddup.

------

[_Close-up on Zim's face._]

**ZIM:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] Yes, just as I suspected. It was all just another... stupid... night... mare...

[_Zoom out, to show that Zim is strapped to an autopsy table in a dark, scary laboratory._]

**SCIENTIST:** We are preparing for the initial dissection...  
**ZIM:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  



	7. Conclusion: It's like none of it ever ha...

[_Scene: Zim's home base._]

**GIR:** [_wakes up, screaming_] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [_pant, pant_] Master! Master, I had a bad dream!

[_GIR jumps off of the table he was sleeping on and runs to Zim, who is busy duct-taping a burrito to a kitten._]

**ZIM:** Hmmmm.  
**GIR:** Master, I had a bad dream! Can I sleep with you tonight?  
**ZIM:** Ehhhh? What is this "sleep"? Have you picked up another filthy human Earth habit again? Geez.  
**GIR:** I'm sorry. Ooh, wassat?  
**ZIM:** Sigh. Sometimes, GIR, I wonder what you'd do without me. Now! Back to my mexicat.  
**GIR:** [_falls over; snores_] 


End file.
